This is a high-scoring sample answer for the following Cambridge B2 First writing Part 2 review question below where there is also a list of less common vocabulary with definitions. Collocations on work are here. Read the sample answer, then send me your essay in the comments. I will give you a quick score and also some comments if I have time. Why not start today?
B2 First Part 1 Essay Sample Answer
You see this advertisement in your local newspaper:
Helpers wanted
We are looking for people to work in a holiday club for English-speaking children (aged 4–8).
Write a letter to Mr Nick Jones, the club organizer, giving details of:
• your experience of working with children
• your knowledge of English
• why you would be suitable for the job.
Write your letter of application.
Dear Mr. Jones,
I am writing in answer to your advertisement in the local newspaper for a holiday club worker.
I am one of the oldest in a large family, so I am used to caring for children, especially those under 10 years old. In fact, I used to work at an after-school club teaching primary school aged children English. I can supply references from there if need be.
I always loved English at school, and although I am not studying for a qualification, such as Cambridge B2 first, I use some of these materials, so I do not lose the English I have, and to try and improve.
I firmly believe that I will be a good fit for this job. I have work experience with young children, am interested in English and will be free during the holiday period. I can provide both character and work references and would be pleased to attend an interview, either online or face to face.
I look forward to hearing from you and hope I will be successful in my application.
Yours sincerely
Alan Teacher
Remember to post your essay in the comments at the bottom of this page so I can give you a score!
Less Common Vocabulary for B2 First Writing
references – a letter from a previous employer testifying to someone’s ability or reliability, used when applying for a new job:
character – one of the attributes or features that make up and distinguish an individual
Even more vocabulary on work is available here.
Remember to post your essay in the comments at the bottom of this page so I can give you a score!
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Hi,
Thank you for your answer.
Your salutation (Dear Mr …) and the next sentence are perfect, as are the last paragraph and the other parts of the ending. Your structure is also good, but there are significant problems.
1 – you repeat that you were an English teacher. try and plan your answer, so this doesn’t happen.
2 – you need to go into more detail, your experience, your English and why you would suit the job are all really vague. Put yourself in the place of someone who is looking for a job working with children. Teaching is vague, talk about what you liked about teaching kids. If you are going to have an interview, then you don’t need to mention that it has been a while since you have spoken English. They will be able to tell at the interview. As for being suitable, you can talk about other personal traits such as being honest, punctual and hard working.
3 – When you are talking about yourself ‘i’ is ALWAYS a capital letter ‘I’.
As far as a score is concerned, a practice writing score of 10, which equates to a Cambridge writing score of 150 which is just on the border of B1 and B2.
Your English is good enough to get a B2, but you need to address the issues above, especially ‘2’.
Dear Mr. Jones,
I am writing in answer to your advertisement, which i saw in my local newspaper.
As far as i know, you are looking for someone who has experience in caring for children. Since i worked as a English teacher for four years, i can say that that i gain valuable experience working with children
As i said, i was an English teacher, although it was a long time ago since i have spoken the language, i would happily take my time to practice i
The reason i think i’m suitable for this job because i perfectly fit for your needs. I’m really motivated for this job and i would be a really good customer. I’m technically free during the holiday, because my trip just got cancelled.
I would be available for interview at any time convenient for you. I am looking forward to hearing from you and hope my application will be successful.
Yours sincerely
Burai Benjámin
Dear Mr. Jones,
I am writing in answer to your advertisement, which i saw in my local newspaper.
As far as i know, you are looking for someone who has experience in caring for children. Since i worked as a English teacher for four years, i can say that that i gain valuable experience working with children
As i said, i was an English teacher, although it was a long time ago since i have spoken the language, i would happily take my time to practice i
The reason i think i’m suitable for this job because i perfectly fit for your needs. I’m really motivated for this job and i would be a really good customer. I’m technically free during the holiday, because my trip just got cancelled.
I would be available for interview at any time convenient for you. I am looking forward to hearing from you and hope my application will be successful.
Yours sincerely
Burai Benjámin
Hi Marianna, this is a really good application for a job, even if it’s too long. In Cambridge exams, you should try to write between 140 and 190 words. Part of the task is not to write too much, so you need to be more concise.
Apart from a few basic grammar and spelling errors, which you would probably pick up if you proofread it again, the most important point is that you don’t say – Dear Mr Nick Jones.
For a formal letter like this, you should write Dear Mr Jones,
For an informal letter, if you knew him, you would write Dear Nick, or Hi Nick,.
If you knew him really well, then you would only need to write Hi
As for a score, this is into C1 territory, so if even if it is too long, you would probably get full marks for this in B2, which is a practice score of 20points, which equates to a Cambridge score of 180. However, as I mentioned previously, this could put your score up to C1 level.
Dear Mr Nick Jones,
I am writing in responce to your advertisment offering the post of a holiday club worker, which appeared in the local newspaper. It is my firm believe that my skill set and prior experience make me an ideal fit for the job.
I have just graduated from high school with very outstanding grades. I was at the top of most of my classes, including English, from which I excelled. This jop offer poses a great opportunity for me to perfect my English, for which I would be very grateful.
What is more, some of my strong skills and personality traits include creativity, talkativeness, sense of responsibilty, warmheartedness and the ability to solve problems quickly and effectively. I strongly believe these are essential when working with children.
I also had the opportunity to gain experience with working in a children’s holiday camp last summer. Planning adventurous trips and providing daily entertainment in a form of sport activities and engaging art classes were all within the scope of my employment.
Additionally, I would like to mention that I am free for the whole duration of summer holidays.
I would be delighted to attend an interview at your earliest convenience. As requested, I enclose my curriculum vitae. I am looking forward to hearing from you and hope I will be successful in my application.
Yours sincerely,
Marianna Degmová